Saturday, January 01, 2005

The Road Not Taken

It has been almost a year. The life I had experienced for a period of 3 months after my SPM results was released last year had been really challenging and difficult. I must really admit that I had been in dilemmas, frustrations and stress so different that I have never experienced in my life before.

After the SPM results was released, I thought that would be the end of all my struggles and stress but, it seemed to be the beginning of everything. Things were not as easy as I thought it would be. I applied for numerous scholarships and some of them were JPA, Sime Darby, Shell, Petronas and more. Although most of the applications were done online, it wasn't easy to apply at all. I had to prepare essential documents to complete the complicated forms. It was just as frustrating as doing my Add Maths homework.

Roughly a month after applying the scholarships, news started to arrive. Firstly was the JPA interview. Then, a call from Sime Darby. It was a short interview about myself and things I like. Later, I got a call from Yayasan Khazanah asking me to attend an interview in KL. I was so excited because I didn't expect a call from them to attend the interview. However, I had to turn it down because it was in such a rush and it's very difficult to book a flight ticket last minute. A week later, I got an email from Sime Darby asking me to attend the 1st stage of interview. At first, I thought I would have to turn in down again but, the lady called me and convinced me to go. She told me that I was one of the 80 applicants selected from thousands that applied. So, after discussing this matter with my parents, Daddy agreed to let me go for the interview.

The interview was fun. I didn't think much whether I'll get it or not because I have faith in God that He'll have a plan for me. If He wants me to have it, He'll give it to me. Shortly after the 1st interview, I received an email asking me to go for the 2nd stage of the interview. I was so surprised and excited! Again, I flew to KL for the interview. This time, the interview was quite satisfactory and I didn't think much about the results too. Life was really fun at that time!

About a few weeks after all the interviews, JPA released the scholarship results. For the 1st time in my life, I saw Daddy dancing around celebrating the good news that I was awarded the scholarship. And for that specific moment, I really felt God is so amazing that He could do so many miraculous things to amaze us. I really thank God so much! Not long after that, I got an email from Sime Darby congratulating me for being one of their scholars. I must admit, I was really shocked. Never did I imagined that I'll be one of the only 10 students awarded with this scholarship. But, I had to make a choice. It wasn't a difficult choice at first because Sime Darby offered me a local scholarship. So, I rejected it. I didn't feel good because it is a scholarship that I had put a lot of money, effort and time in. However, I thank God for the wonderful experience I had during the interviews.

When it was very confirmed that I'll be going to India for dentistry, I received a call from Shell informing me that I was one of the recipients of Shell scholarship. It wasn't a full scholarship but, it's a pre-U scholarship where I will have a chance to get a degree scholarship if I do well. Shell scholarship is seriously one of the good scholarships you'll can get. They send students to UK to study! And it's really my dream to go UK to study.

Again, I had to make a choice. It was the most difficult decision I had to make. The decision that will determine my future. The decision that will determine what I'll be studying and what I'm going to do in the future. I didn't have a good time at all. I know that my parents would really want me to choose something that I like. But, I couldn't make a decision. I kept thinking about the course and place I'll be going to.

India vs. UK. Dentistry vs. Engineering. Passion vs. Luxury. How in the world would I be able to choose between these 2 courses?

When most people would choose go to UK, I bravely chose to go to India. For me, this is like the road not taken. Though I'm not in India yet, I'm at KTT doing my A-Levels course. I will still be going there for my dentistry course. Even though I feel like running away all the time, I must be strong because I really believe this is what God wants for me. He has a purpose for me in KTT and perhaps India too. Things that had happened here in KTT really opened my eyes to realised God's purpose to send me here. Without KTT, I wouldn't get to know such a great bunch of friends. Without KTT, I wouldn't get to join KTT's CF, learn how to play guitar and serve in the church here. Never did I imagine that I'll be able to play guitar for church and guess what?! I did.

God is really amazing. He made me chose the path which not many people would choose and showed me amazing things here in KTT. He is an awesome God!

The road not taken? Haha...


:: keanie-weanie :: said...

Amen! Probably He has great plans for you in India, despite the smug look on everyone's faces when you tell them you're going there to study. I would want to go to Bombay. The slums are horrible, and it is the most exciting time for Missions! I may see you there. Wohoo!

LingDi said...

Tnx for understanding! At first, the reactions ppl gave me when I mentioned India was kind of discouraging. But, after a while, some were quite encouraging and better. It's really hard to get everybody to understand la.. But, honestly, I don't think that bad of India anymore. I was quite skeptical but, now no more.. I'm looking forward to hearing more interesting things abt the place.. Haha!